Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
