I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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