Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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