Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She needs sedatives and a leash
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
