if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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