Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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