I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
