Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
