i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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