he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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