alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
