yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I need help removing her.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize