Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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