Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
