if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
