Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
