just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
