margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize