I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
