so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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