im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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