we have pet lesbian snakes
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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