the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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