I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
