My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
