I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
