I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
