I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
