i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
