So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize