is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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