I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
