: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
