I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
