i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
