i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
