she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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