I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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