I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
