maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
