I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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