Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
