So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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