Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
