Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
