Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
