what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
