you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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