you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
