this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
