i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
