Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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