I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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