i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
