OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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