I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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