In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
