barbara walters just said penis...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well I just put wine in my tea
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize