he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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